cinderella
by darlingdearestdoll
Summary: "is the pumpkin carriage late?" - cinderella, a glass slipper and happily ever after - lenrin, rinkaito, mikuorin


**Rated: T for angst, angst, more angst, romance, kissing, slight cursing and just because I want to be on the safe side XD**

 **Summary:** "Is the pumpkin carriage late?" - Cinderella, a glass slipper and happily ever after. Loosely connected to my other fanfic, _Unrequited_ , but can stand alone too :3

 **Author's Note:** In the middle of school, tests, more school, homework and coffee, I found myself typing this little bit of fanfic :)

This fanfic is heavily based on _**Someday, Cinderella**_ _/_ _ **Someday my Cinderella will come**_ – yet _another_ song composed by Hitoshizuku-P x Yama about… well, you get it, unrequited love, and getting friendzoned in general. Basically my life in one song XD I highly recommend you to go listen to it :3

 **Warning: _Unbeta'd because I just finished this, like, two minutes ago, and I'm too much of a little bundle of nerves to send this to my beta-reader(s?) XD_**

 **Disclaimer: No. Though I would love to~ :3 So be a darling and give it to me, please? :3 No? You just want to break my heart, don't you, you jerk… TT^TT**

 **Anyway, the quotes, the lyrics, the characters in general aren't mine. Happy now? TT^TT**

* * *

 _But this woman has a hold on my heart that I could not break if I wanted too. And there have been times that I wanted to. It has been overwhelming, and humbling. And even painful, at times._

* * *

They were ten. Small and innocent and happy, blissfully ignorant about practically everything but their favorite manga.

He was reckless – sliding down the slides head first, and before his parents could come aiding, he bounced back, eyes glinting and a fist threw up in the air.

She was more of a shy kid – careful and gentle. Rin would choose dolls over games if asked. Still, despite her warnings, he would still continue with his crazy stunts.

It wasn't that he wanted to be the coolest kid – brave enough (or stupid enough) to hit his head without giving himself a concussion – or trying to impress his parents – they already had hands full of Len, thank you very much.

It was because whenever he got hurt, Rin was always there. Warm hands wrapped themselves around his arms, soft skin brushed against the bruises. Sometime, when she hugged him close, he could even hear her heartbeat, steady and lulling. Sometime he even feigned injuries, just so he could feel her worried expression etch on and her insistent pestering him to go home and find a bandage. It never bothered him that he always went home with a new purple bruise or his knee scraped and blood trickling down, sticky and wet. Somehow, her hugs and soothing touch were just enough to calm him.

* * *

They were twelve. Puberty did wonders, and in their case, everyone couldn't help but nod in amazement at their change.

Her name was always accompanied with teacher's scowls or frustrated expression. Everyone knew her, the carefree prankster with not-so-desirable marks.

They ignored him. He was an ordinary student with decent grade and normal look. He was the background character in the movie with someone else the protagonist, appearing on the screen for a second, blended in the crowd perfectly.

Not that he minded. Len just loved to read – it helped him seeing other worlds, other people and other fates.

 _Who do you think I am in your books?_ \- She once asked, for the sake of conversation. Her fingers fumbled with the phone, and she tapped impatiently, waiting for her character to resurrect.

 _A farm girl?_ \- He offered half-heartedly, not looking up.

She hit his head. Hard.

 _I'm a princess dammit!_

 _Yeah yeah, whatever._

Rin huffed indignantly and turned back to her game.

* * *

They were fifteen.

High school was complicated, to say the least. Gossiping and backstabbing were so common that everyone have to carry themselves carefully. Smoking and drinking weren't bad things anymore – and Len was sure he caught a senior inhaling some white powder in silver paper more than once.

Their friendship changed too. Contrary to popular belief, Len and Rin were _not_ joined from the hips.

(Though it wouldn't feel too bad if they really were, he mused silently.)

She hang out with a group of girls with completely contrasting attitude and personalities. There was a teal-haired girl completely addicted to leek, a brunette with a bottle of sake, and a pink-haired one who was just as an exhibitionist as a stripper.

He didn't mind that. Len enjoyed going out with some guys from his class too, Kaito and Piko. Beside, she still called him her best friend, and that was what mattered.

Her friends were good looking, and he would be blind not to notice that. Of course, even if he was blind, Kaito's constant ranting about _Miku and her perfect_ _hair and perfect figure_ and whatnot would be more than enough for him.

And then there was Rin.

She seemed to stand out from the other, Len observed. Crystal colored eyes and porcelain skin, small and petite. Her being always brought a serene feeling. Something about her just made him smile (stupidly, noted by Piko.)

* * *

She giggled for the umpteenth time and he groaned rather frustratedly.

"Will you _please_ focus?"

She twirled around, her hands entwined up in luscious hair and feet gliding on tiled floor gracefully, a giggle escaped.

"He gave me a rose, Len!" - Rin shrieked. Another giggle passed out, the goddamned flower in her hand so delicately. She leaned down, leaving a briefest of kiss on soft white petals.

He grabbed the soda can and took a long gulp, resisting the urge to crush it to pieces.

"A rose, Len, a rose!" - She sighed blissfully. Legs stumbled clumsily, she flopped down next to him. Soft hair sprawled on his neck, tickling him, and he turned his head around just the slightest bit to look at her properly. Her petite frame rested next to his larger one, eyes sparkled and porcelain skin pressed against him.

Rin exhaled slowly, delicate eyelashes fluttered, and from this angle, he could see clearly her perfect features.

"Does that mean he return my feeling, Len?"

He nodded mutely.

Len hated how she uttered Kaito's name and sigh over it – like the… guy had anything to do with her mood. Just a sentence and he got Rin there hanging, mooning after him like a lovestruck teenage.

(He refused to think of Kaito and Rin and the possibility of them engaging in any kind of relationship. At all. Beside, Kaito had Miku to worried about…

Right?)

Heck, he wouldn't mind… teaching Kaito a _little_ lesson, per say. He should've known better than to toy with his best friend, right?

She curled her hand around his torso and snuggled closer, and all thoughts disappeared in his head, being replaced by _her touch_ and _her skin_ and _her hands_ and _her_.

* * *

Look at her touch look her soft gentle touch lingering on his skin look at her skin her milky skin pressed against him look at her hands her healing slender hands placing on his and don't look at her eyes don't look at her lips because -

\- because -

\- because -

* * *

"I can't. I'm sorry Rin."

* * *

She smiled, but it felt crooked. It probably would fall on the ground, crashing and splattering everywhere on Kaito and her and her confession and his smile – gentle and guilty and determined and her courage and everything.

* * *

"Len? Are you there?"

"Of course I am, stupid. If I weren't there then who answered you phone call?"

"..."

"Rin?"

"..."

"Are you OK?"

"...Yeah..."

"...Give me five minutes."

* * *

 _Don't cry_ , he assured her; clumsily fumbled for the right words to assure Rin. With her face pressed into the back of his neck, she refused to turn around, refused to see him, refused to see anyone and everyone and no-one. _Don't cry, it's not worthy, he's not worthy, don't cry._

 _Is it because I'm undesirable?_ She hiccuped, eyes wide and pleading. Another sob dripped from pale lips like poison, burning her mouth as she tasted the sour acid and fire ripping everything out, and words crumbled apart.

He didn't need to think.

 _No._

 _I'm not as beautiful as Miku, I'm a flat-chested, bouncy little girl compared to Luka, and – and –_

Rin swallowed. The noise clashed deafeningly with glassy silence, shattering it to pieces.

 _He… was everything I ever dreamt of._

 _How could I say no to someone who couldn't even see any of my flaws? What more could I ask for?_

Silence.

Mute silence was the only thing he could give her.

* * *

"Someone who sees your flaws and loves you for them."

* * *

A huge crowd of students gathered around them.

He didn't notice them, didn't acknowledge their surroundings. His hands balled into fists, too tight, nails raking through skin and flesh until Len could smell the copper, tangy scent filling his nostrils. The other boy was sprawled on white floor, looking at him through understanding eyes and a bruise marring his cheek, coloring white skin a nasty shade.

He could hear Mikuo scream at him to snap out of it, his hands tugging Len's shirt, begging the boy to stop.

A smile crept up his face when he punched Kaito again, and a sickening crack echoed.

He didn't care. He didn't care. _He didn't care_.

* * *

"Don't hurt him!" - Rin shrieked, and for one, Len unclenched his fists.

Why?

He questioned.

He's not worth it, she laughed the matter off, I don't care about him.

Her laughter wasn't sparkling and ringing. It was more of dead leaves, too dead to cling to their branches, falling down the roots and breaking, small, brittle, inebriated with autumn's winds and slickness and rotting orange sunsets.

 _Oh, but you do. You care. You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it._

She didn't argue back. They both pretended the crystalline droplet was just a figment of his delusional imagination.

* * *

They mended the friendship a week later – Kaito nodded with his ever understanding glint in eyes and a soft smile.

The avoided speaking about Rin.

* * *

He went out on several dates. She was shier – the rejection had left her hurt too long, and Rin had just started going out again.

He didn't miss the longing looks she gave Kaito.

They never entirely disappeared, no matter how much he wished them to.

* * *

 _I never knew until that moment how bad it could hurt to lose something you never really had_ , she said one day, curling up beside him.

He said nothing, focusing – or at least trying his hardest to – on their English paper instead. Len grunted; his words came out harsher than intended.

 _You can't lose something if you don't have them, Rin. It wasn't yours to begin with._

Her back went still and her smile very tight, suffocating them both in an airless horizon.

 _Like how Cinderella lost her glass slipper?_

He was wiser, for once, and didn't answer back.

* * *

 _But you already are Cinderella. And I'm already here._

 _Can't you see?_

* * *

Another month later, she came, holding hand with Mikuo.

He didn't comment, despite the nagging observation that Mikuo's hair was a bit too blue and his eyes a bit too glassy and his personality a little too soft.

"I've only known him for a while, but it just… feels right."

She sighed.

"Sure, it's not all sunshine and butterflies, but… He is enough."

 _And am I not enough for you?_

His jaws clenched, and somehow, Len could finally force his words out.

"It's… great."

He tried not to twitched so much at her joyful and blissfully ignorant smile.

"I know, right?"

* * *

I know, I know, I can't do anything but to listen to you talking happily

So, say some more?

Until you are satisfied?

 _Even if your voice break my heart._

* * *

A silver band on her ring finger and a smile too blinding were all it took him to realize that he had lost her forever.

He gave her half a smile,

 _So I see. Cinderella finally got her glass slipper back, didn't she?_

Rin blushed a pretty pink color, but she didn't actually say 'no'.

 _You already are Cinderella, and I'm already here._

 _But I'm never Prince Charming to sweep you off your feet._

 _Right…?_

* * *

"Stop fussing with the dress, Rin."

She titled her head up to look at him, eyes shining and hands didn't stop smothering her white dress.

"How do I look?"

He halted for a brief second.

"Beautiful."

"Are you ready?"

"Of course," The bride confirmed again. She smiled at her best friend, who was leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets, looking bored.

A small whisper escaped.

"You are beautiful."

She stood up, wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her forehead against his.

"Thank you," she said quietly. His eyes gazed back at her, and a lump formed in her throat when she saw his eyes mist over. She bit her lip as she felt tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

Len hugged her back tightly, and she rested her head on his shoulder. A few seconds passed, with both of them trying to get a hold of their emotions, before he pulled back and rested his hands on her shoulders.

"Pull yourself together," he ordered, grinning despite his red eyes. "Today is the day you've been waiting for. Don't ruin it by crying."

"I'm not crying," she murmured, resting her head against his shoulder again. "I've just got something in my eye."

He wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her against him.

"Me too."

* * *

"Come on Cinderella. Time to go meet your prince."

* * *

"Speak now or forever hold your peace..."

That was a rhetorical statement. And not to mention stupid at heck, he couldn't help sneering at the priest at the guy finished his speech.

Even if he did voice his feeling, Rin wouldn't return his feeling.

He held his silence in and a what-if swirled around.

 _What if…?_

* * *

She smiled brightly at the groom even when dancing with him.

* * *

Look at her touch look her soft gentle touch lingering on his skin look at her skin her milky skin pressed against him look at her hands her healing slender hands placing on his and don't look at her eyes don't look at her lips because -

\- because -

\- because -

they were never on him.

* * *

 _I want to let you cry, I want to let you smile_

 _Not for anyone, just for me, only for me_

 _But I know, I know, I don't want you to be sad._

 _Ah, if just for know, please, only for me…_

 _Smile? Cry? Get angry? More?_

* * *

They were Cinderella and Prince Charming, and that was their happily-ever-after. An ending he was never a part of. A happiness never involved him.

He was the only one left now in the cinder.

A bitter smile crawled up discreetly.

"Is the pumpkin carriage late, Cinderella?"

* * *

Maybe someday he would get over her.

Someday, he would look back at the memories and smile fondly. Someday, he would finally get over her, and would finally look at her just as a friend and nothing more.

Someday, someone will suddenly come, and suddenly, his breath will be taken away again.

He would find his Cinderella, someday.

* * *

Maybe.

Someday…

Just.

Not today.

* * *

 _But I could not stop loving her any more than I could stop breathing._

 _I am hopelessly, irretrievably, in love with her._

 _More than she knows._


End file.
